cry of my heart. Isaiah 61.

Off to my peripheral rotation and the last one for this academic year in two days. I’ll be doing chest (made out of cardio, resp and ENT). My love/passion for medicine still wanes especially when I need to study but I’ve really loved seeing my knowledge come together and feel like it’s actually useful. I’ve been soooo good recently honestly it’s scary. A part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. God’s been speaking so much – working on the past, unrooting deep hurts, but also – giving me joy in the wait. Contentment unlike any other. He’s teaching me to change my perspective, He’s even helping me work through issues I NEVER expected to deal with now. Community has also been good, both in church and uni. I’m feeling settled 🙂

Something I heard today: “be interested, not interesting” and “be a ‘there you are’ not ‘here I am’ person”. Also been thinking about how (this was originally said in the context of dating but I think it applies anywhere) instead of trying to impress others, we should try to bless. So true!

I spent 5 days recently in Malta and it was so nice and chill. I really needed it. Henley as usual was beautiful. I still can’t believe I’ve got 10 weeks to go till exams. I should start studying I guess? Hahaha. This year really feels like a marathon. But how would I know, I don’t even run, let alone run a marathon.

goodbai

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Last day of pre-clinical year lectures today! This song has been on repeat recently 🙂 the last two years have at times been a real struggle, but I also feel slightly sad at parting from the traditional university experience, being on campus and seeing the same people everyday. I’m really excited for proper patient contact and clinicals. Can’t believe I (sorta, exams still have to be conquered) survived pre-clinicals! Never thought this day would come 🙂

Faithful You have been and faithful You will be.

The Road Not Taken

I’m still here, I promise!! It has been a while, and I have just finished Reading Week (where I took a break from social media and tried to do some reading (here I am demonstrating such grown-up-ness and mature-ish use of the word reading to mean uni work thingies) (IRONY) (shan’t undermine your intelligence 😉 ) (ARE MY BRACKETS CONFUSING YOU YET) (read: actually start work after my 2++ month break) and reading (juggled The Luminaries, Beowulf and Bossypants). It was nice to get a break from lectures, and it also felt nice to get some proper work done. I’ve been hanging out lots more with old friends from Singapore, my awesome awesome flatmates and friends/course mates, doing things like movie nights/cooking together/pancake day(!!) or basically anything involving eating.

I know I haven’t written since January, Continue reading

A Time For Everything

I planned to write this post last night, and then that failed, and then this morning, before I go out to meet a friend for brunch, but that’s going to fail too because I need to leave in 10 minutes…. 

Anyway, it’s 2 am now on the same (next??) day, and I think that shows quite well how something I really need is BETTER TIME MANAGEMENT. 

After 5 days of school, sad to say, only the 1st and 2nd days were truly easy. The others have mostly been ‘eh??!?’ lectures, where I tried to dredge out from the dark recesses of my mind (the bits on an extended recess) something involving….. math, and Vmax and things I learnt long long ago that I conveniently threw away once I left jc. The bright side is, I didn’t fall asleep at all! 😉

have quite enjoyed my first week of uni though; for example, borrowing a whole ton of fat medical books and putting them on one’s shelf can have a great effect in how intelligent one believes she really is. But jokes aside, the sheer volume of things we have to know by heart can be quite intimidating. My parents have already recommended 4 hours of revision daily, and between church commitments, watching all my tv shows (sacrifices have to be made 😦 ), and doing general fresher things (pub crawl, anyone?), it’s easy to compromise on the ‘little’ things, like QT, or journaling and reading my bible. But I went for OCF on Friday night, and what was shared really struck me, on how God has set eternity in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11), and I had more to say on this, but I’ve forgotten what the point of this whole post was anyway, and so I really pray that whatever I do in school, I do it with eternity in mind, and remember that God is the author of time, and I can surrender my own time to Him, and trust that He will govern it. What is 4 hours really, in light of eternity? I think the need to surrender didn’t stop at getting into medical school, but it’s something that I’m going to have to intentionally do for the next 5 years (and beyond). 

So my goals for this upcoming academic year are:

1) to continue to surrender and trust in Him (I have a mind of Christ!!!) 

2) not to compromise (on things big and small!)

3) to do things intentionally, with eternity in mind

4) (perhaps most importantly) to cherish the time I have here, and to always try and be a blessing to those He has placed around me

“I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ” – Ecclesiastes 3: 10-13