Though the seasons change, Your love remains
It’s still crazy how my mood can go from GREAT GREAT LIFE IS AMAZING GOD YOU’RE AMAZING (legit, have had a solid 3 days of 8/10 and above in a row… and my life is currently full of so many stories of how He knows my heart’s every desire and little whim and doesn’t hesitate to abundantly lavish His love on me) to anxiousanxiousanxiousgonnafailgonnadropoutidontdeservetobeherehowdidigetthisfarinthefirstplace -breathe- somuchworkwheretostart
(how’s THAT for clickbait #intouchwithmyreaders)
precipitated by something like a rainy day (i mean, when is it not raining in London amirite) and visceral reminders of a gloomy period in my life a year ago. The sky is dark and the clocks haven’t even gone back yet. Winter is coming. It’s day 2 of my first official placement and while it’s still very exciting it’s also daunting/scary/intimidating/so different from anything I’ve really done before. (Aside: I still can’t believe I’ve actually made it to clinical years. I remember in first year just thinking to myself ‘3rd year is sooo far away’.) Perhaps what’s scares me most about feeling this way is the notion that it won’t just be a one-time thing. But that feeling down and stressed and in general really sad about everything and one-wrong-word-away-from-a-full-breakdown-circa 2010/2014.
United Pursuit has been keeping me company, and it’s funny that the line ‘though the seasons change, Your love remains’ came up just as I was feeling all ‘winter is coming 😦 😦 :-(‘ because the one constant thing in my life is that seasons come and seasons go and some are really great and others are here to stretch me and make me grow or even to make me heal and make me rest.
I’ve been studying Hebrews over the past week and what’s amazed me the most was the constant reminder over the first few chapters of the steadfast hope we have in Him, “that we can boldly approach to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
How beautiful are those words. That we have a High Priest who suffered and was tempted (but remains sinless) and so is able to aid me as I am tempted. That I love and serve a God ‘whose house we are if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm to the end’.