I think I don’t post when I don’t like med school because I don’t want to write bleagh posts which might give you an insight into how I’ve found school over the past few weeks.
But I am trying very hard to stay grateful for people/things around me because it always makes me so glad to be alive. I watched Inside Llewyn Davis last night and it was really depressing (nice folk music and a very cute cat aside) – but what struck me the most was ‘how can this guy not have any friends?’ What I’m trying to say is I’m thankful for the life I have been given and I need to spend more time seeing what is right and good with it instead of everything that is wrong.
“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
“You must not ever stop being whimsical. And you must not, ever, give anyone else the responsibility for your life.”
“I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in singing, especially when singing is not necessarily prescribed.”
“Still, what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled—to cast aside the weight of facts and maybe even to float a little above this difficult world. ”
“I tell you this
to break your heart,
by which I mean only
that it break open and never close again
to the rest of the world.”
― Mary Oliver
she has some of my favourite instructions on life and living (obviously I couldn’t just pick one 😦 )
so, I am thankful for (deep breath)
the Love above all else (in spite of all else), my crazy family, the song inside my heart, my voice, the light hitting my window in the morning, the quiet daily walks to school, long train rides, Ned (my hansum guitar), tea with 2 cubes of sugar, tastebuds, books with words that express what I never knew I felt, for words, for poetry, for relationships that withstand time and distance, for those that don’t, time differences, the hydrangeas holding on to their petals and blush, the subtle sunsets, the brilliant ones, jazz and classical music, inside jokes, my insatiable need for fiction, my parents making me read abridged classics as a kid, cold air in the morning warming up my heart, a second cup of tea, deep conversations over FaceTime, making faces over FaceTime, routines, moments of spontaneity, the magic of light on perfectly ordinary days, 2am conversations at 3am/10am/4pm whenever wherever, friends
with chocolate who insist you come over when you’re sad, friends who come over when you’re sad, friends who laugh at you about that one thing that happened that one time but that they’re never gonna let you forget, friends who jam with you at 1 in the morning, friends who sit with you in silence, (that one darling soul-)friend you can read poetry to even when she’s Miles Away in Sydney and you’re here, (with whom the conversation can go from ‘be a good steward’ ‘steward of Gondor?’ ‘be the heir of Isildur – BE ARAGORN’ in a matter of seconds)
what I’m trying to say is I’m thankful for
you you you and You
I would be stuck in the lovely dark and deep woods (but I have miles to go before I sleep 😥 ) or down the rabbit hole again if it wasn’t for all you wonderful people I am so privileged to call my friends.